From Barbies to I Pods...

Hello world!! 

Wow, It's been almost two years since I have sat down to write a blog!! How I have missed it. Writing has always been a form of release for me and I need to do it more often. I am committing to really try! 

I should catch you up on my life but like in previous blog posts there is nothing more to say than I am a busy mother of two, one of which I'm homeschooling (more of that soon) , I also hold other titles such as wife,business owner and ministry director. Phew! I have just been so lost in my life, in a good way. I always have the constant itch to write and find myself jotting down ideas all the time of what I would like to blog about and share with the world but executing that is where I have the difficulty... 

The past few weeks I haven't been able to get this next particular subject out of my heart or my mind. It's probably God's way of getting me here again and maybe to share some words or insight for someone out there... 

As I mentioned , I am homeschooling one of my children. My daughter that is. It is something that my husband and I started praying about when she was in the 4th grade and when we knew that junior high and teen years would soon be upon us. For a woman like me, who likes to be in control of everything in her life, the thought of sending my daughter to junior high terrified me! 

We went back and forth on the idea and looked to God for direction. When it was all said and done we felt complete assurance that He was leading us to home school. For me as a mother, I felt the need to be ever so present in her life these crucial years of preteen and teen... 

So we started that a few weeks ago and are so happy we decided to do so!! We find our selves as parents of a soon to be teenager and in a completely new journey for us. I choose to see it as so... I don't think it's always the funnest or easiest journey but a journey for sure! A journey I welcome even with all the difficulty that it comes with! 

What has been on my heart to share is what it's like to be a mother in this stage of life. I hope if you find yourself in this same stage that my words might be some sort of something for you... 

First of all, How did I get here so incredibly fast? I mean wasn't my princess just a small girl in her dresses and plastic high heels? When did her tiny voice all of sudden start sounding so grown up and sassy ? When did listening to music on her iPod and watching you-tube videos replace dressing up and playing barbies? Alas, here I am... 

In my journey as a mother so far I have found this particular part the most trying. I mean nobody can really tell you what it's like to be the mother of a preteen in 2016 because nobody has done it yet. I mean, don't get me wrong, I welcome with open arms advice from any mother that has gone through this phase and survived but the truth is times are ever so changing. The generational gap seems to grow wider from even one year to the next and the era of social media is so prevalent now... 

So I find myself in a different place needing to make different decisions than ever before. Leaning on God like I never have and in ways I've never experienced. 

I must say that I was blessed with one amazing daughter. She is kind and wise beyond her years and doesn't even know it yet. Her self discipline leaves me in awe and I envy that characteristic just a bit. She teaches me many lessons and she doesn't even realize it, not just about whats trending, although she definitely schools me there. 

With all the amazingness that she is , she is still just a 12 year old girl. That age where you are caught between being a girl and a teenager. The age where fitting in is of utmost importance. This being one of the reasons for homeschooling. Not because I am overprotective, she knows the ways of the world and we make sure she isn't a sheltered hermit, but because I feel like this is the age where things can go wrong. Even the most wonderful kids can be led wrong, RIGHT HERE. Their main goal at this age is to fit in! With that comes following. Following trends. Following other kids that may be leading them the wrong way. Following a path that we don't want to see them on. 

So here I stand hoping that I guide her to follow only one Shepard. Encouraging her to find herself and spread her wings but to listen to that moral compass we instilled. Teaching her to open her heart to a God that Loves her. Letting her know that I am here, no matter what and guiding her to express her heart even when she doesn't quite know how.  

I have forewarned her of the ugliness that can come out of young girls at this age and assured her that anytime someone intentionally causes her hurt with their words, it is them who need prayer most. Letting her know that hurt people, hurt people. I let her know that even when she doesn't want to, forgive. Let go, Let God.  

What I am learning most is that this is the age where it can be REALLY hard to be mom and not friend. I mean all we want is to make our kids happy, right moms? There is nothing like knowing your child is happy in life but this age is where questions get asked where the mom in you says  "Not a good Idea" and the friend in you wants to say "Yeah, go ahead!" This isn't like the little girl decisions of can I have an extra piece of candy, oh how I wish it was. This is can I have this type of social media? Can I watch this movie or when can I wear make up?  oy vey ... Here is where God reminds me that he entrusted this child to me to be her mother. He didn't gift her to me as a friend, he gifted her as daughter. Although I hope she knows in her mother there is a friend, I am mom first. 

If you find yourself in this same stage of life, Welcome! Remember that these years are short . Enjoy the walk even through the fires. Teach your daughters to be kind ,strong and independent. Let them know that you are there. Ask questions! Like I tell my daughter, " I am going to be all up in your business, like it or not. Here I am!"

Lean on one another as support, I know that I need it. Trust that God knew what he was doing when he chose that particular girl for you to mold. Before you know it, she will be a woman and we will be longing to be back here, walking along this road. 

Proverbs 22:6