Hello world!! I haven't blogged in about 3 months and I have missed it so. Writing feeds my soul! I have had every intention of getting my words out but being a mommy,wife and business owner I haven't had the time. I run an airbrush tanning business and this is busy time for me! In the two months I haven't written I've had lots of thoughts swimming in this head of mine. Something that has really been on my heart to share is to talk about Who I am...
Do you ever stop and think about who you are and where you are in life? What and who got you to the particular place you are at ? I have lately and can honestly say that i have never felt more like ME than I do right now! 31 years old and I can say I finally know who I am. That is not to say I am done discovering or growing but it means I have never felt more comfortable in my skin than now. How did I get here? Where did I come from? That story started a long time ago...Want to hear a story? ;-)
It starts with a young girl on a ranch in a tiny Mexican town. This young girl had dreams and hopes for herself but her family needed her help. They needed her to help them put food on the table. She loved her family so much that she would do anything to ensure the well being of her family, so her dad placed her on the back of a donkey and sent her to live with relatives in a foreign country.The good Ol' USA. She got a job as a waitress and sent money to her family back in Mexico all the while she was having to deal with abuse at the hands of the family she was living with. Imagine being young, scared and in a foreign place... But she loved her family so that she endured the pain for their happiness. Now... the next part of the story is my assumption but I believe that this young girl was searching for someone to love her. Someone who truly loved her and who could be an escape to an awful situation and she found it in a long haired hippie cook! This man was and is the most loving person you can imagine! He fell head over heels for this young girl and the girl was loved! The two were inseparable and not long after were married. She had found someone who loved her and escaped the awful place she was in. Not long after marriage they found out they were expecting a little girl. When she was born I believe she was Daddy's girl immediately and think he was mush at the sight of his new baby and the woman he was so deeply in love with.
A couple years later things started to crumble in the marriage and I can honestly say I don't have a clear answer as to why but infer it was maybe that the young lady wasn't sure how to accept happiness..maybe she felt undeserving of all the good in her life... whatever the reason the couple ended the marriage. The 2 year old little girl was stuck in the middle. In that day the mother usually received custody of the child without question. The mother took her small daughter and left a heartbroken father who so desperately wanted his daughter with him...
The young woman soon entered a relationship with another man.. One of whom was abusive. The little girl witnessed this abuse and lived in fear...but the mother of the girl made a decision that would change her life as well as her daughter's forever. I believe it was an act of courage in a sense. She gave the little girl to her daddy.
Daddy was overjoyed as was the little girl! Though now Daddy was playing both role of mother and father.. He had to have help!! That came in the form of his family!! Particularly his mother and sisters! They took on motherly roles for this little girl.
Growing up the little girl went through difficult times. She often longed for her mother and although she did see her mother it was only on occasion. It was not your ideal relationship of mother and daughter.. This young girl was also diagnosed with a condition when she was about 7. A condition though not life threatening definitely one that beat on her soul. It was Alopecia areata..This condition causes hair loss. As you know being a girl and having beautiful hair go hand in hand. She had to face the cruelty of others but always felt loved by Her dad, grandmother and four beautiful aunts! She found comfort in the love of her family!
These amazing beings loved and nurtured the girl all her life and instilled her good morals and taught her about Christ. Each one different and having something different to offer the young girl but with one common goal and that was to show her that she was loved!!
The girl grew up and made her way in life..She herself became a mommy.When she looks back at where it all started she can smile! Though there was lots of pain here she stands! That little girl is me!
I look back at my life, the things I have been through and mistakes I made and know in my heart God had His hand on me every step of the way. Although I did not always feel it or know it..I know it now! How great is our God??!!! He had far better plans for me than I ever knew...
Each wonderful person that had a hand in raising me was specifically placed in my life. I know My mom, dad, grandma and aunts were hand chosen by My almighty father for me. I couldn't have asked for better.. Each one instilling different characteristics of who I am A loving,giving woman with an old soul and music in her veins... That with everything else that makes me up came from each person who raised me, including the strong will and stubbornness ;-) I love ALL of them so very much and am forever grateful to each one!
I learned everything from all these beautiful people but the most important to me are forgiveness and love! I know who I am because I know my roots! I know who I am because I know a God that loves me amidst my mistakes.
Thank you if you had a had in who I am ! Thank you for giving me roots and allowing me wings to fly and find ME in you!!
" Be strong and Courageous. Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you "(Deuteronomy 31:6).
