Hello world!! I haven't blogged in about 3 months and I have missed it so. Writing feeds my soul! I have had every intention of getting my words out but being a mommy,wife and business owner I haven't had the time. I run an airbrush tanning business and this is busy time for me! In the two months I haven't written I've had lots of thoughts swimming in this head of mine. Something that has really been on my heart to share is to talk about Who I am...
Do you ever stop and think about who you are and where you are in life? What and who got you to the particular place you are at ? I have lately and can honestly say that i have never felt more like ME than I do right now! 31 years old and I can say I finally know who I am. That is not to say I am done discovering or growing but it means I have never felt more comfortable in my skin than now. How did I get here? Where did I come from? That story started a long time ago...Want to hear a story? ;-)
It starts with a young girl on a ranch in a tiny Mexican town. This young girl had dreams and hopes for herself but her family needed her help. They needed her to help them put food on the table. She loved her family so much that she would do anything to ensure the well being of her family, so her dad placed her on the back of a donkey and sent her to live with relatives in a foreign country.The good Ol' USA. She got a job as a waitress and sent money to her family back in Mexico all the while she was having to deal with abuse at the hands of the family she was living with. Imagine being young, scared and in a foreign place... But she loved her family so that she endured the pain for their happiness. Now... the next part of the story is my assumption but I believe that this young girl was searching for someone to love her. Someone who truly loved her and who could be an escape to an awful situation and she found it in a long haired hippie cook! This man was and is the most loving person you can imagine! He fell head over heels for this young girl and the girl was loved! The two were inseparable and not long after were married. She had found someone who loved her and escaped the awful place she was in. Not long after marriage they found out they were expecting a little girl. When she was born I believe she was Daddy's girl immediately and think he was mush at the sight of his new baby and the woman he was so deeply in love with.
A couple years later things started to crumble in the marriage and I can honestly say I don't have a clear answer as to why but infer it was maybe that the young lady wasn't sure how to accept happiness..maybe she felt undeserving of all the good in her life... whatever the reason the couple ended the marriage. The 2 year old little girl was stuck in the middle. In that day the mother usually received custody of the child without question. The mother took her small daughter and left a heartbroken father who so desperately wanted his daughter with him...
The young woman soon entered a relationship with another man.. One of whom was abusive. The little girl witnessed this abuse and lived in fear...but the mother of the girl made a decision that would change her life as well as her daughter's forever. I believe it was an act of courage in a sense. She gave the little girl to her daddy.
Daddy was overjoyed as was the little girl! Though now Daddy was playing both role of mother and father.. He had to have help!! That came in the form of his family!! Particularly his mother and sisters! They took on motherly roles for this little girl.
Growing up the little girl went through difficult times. She often longed for her mother and although she did see her mother it was only on occasion. It was not your ideal relationship of mother and daughter.. This young girl was also diagnosed with a condition when she was about 7. A condition though not life threatening definitely one that beat on her soul. It was Alopecia areata..This condition causes hair loss. As you know being a girl and having beautiful hair go hand in hand. She had to face the cruelty of others but always felt loved by Her dad, grandmother and four beautiful aunts! She found comfort in the love of her family!
These amazing beings loved and nurtured the girl all her life and instilled her good morals and taught her about Christ. Each one different and having something different to offer the young girl but with one common goal and that was to show her that she was loved!!
The girl grew up and made her way in life..She herself became a mommy.When she looks back at where it all started she can smile! Though there was lots of pain here she stands! That little girl is me!
I look back at my life, the things I have been through and mistakes I made and know in my heart God had His hand on me every step of the way. Although I did not always feel it or know it..I know it now! How great is our God??!!! He had far better plans for me than I ever knew...
Each wonderful person that had a hand in raising me was specifically placed in my life. I know My mom, dad, grandma and aunts were hand chosen by My almighty father for me. I couldn't have asked for better.. Each one instilling different characteristics of who I am A loving,giving woman with an old soul and music in her veins... That with everything else that makes me up came from each person who raised me, including the strong will and stubbornness ;-) I love ALL of them so very much and am forever grateful to each one!
I learned everything from all these beautiful people but the most important to me are forgiveness and love! I know who I am because I know my roots! I know who I am because I know a God that loves me amidst my mistakes.
Thank you if you had a had in who I am ! Thank you for giving me roots and allowing me wings to fly and find ME in you!!
" Be strong and Courageous. Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you "(Deuteronomy 31:6).
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Stay Strong.
Every morning when my daughter gets out of the car I say "I love you, Stay strong and have a good day." It is something I have said since first grade. It is just so routine. The other day I started thinking about my words to her..What do I mean when I say: stay strong? What is it that I hope for my daughter when she isn't in my presence? Though it's just a simple phrase "Stay strong." I am saying it with a lot of meaning and hope.
I hope that she stays strong in Christ. I hope that she stands strong in and on her Faith. I hope that when others may not be kind she stay strong and know good always overcomes evil. I hope that she knows her strength and the power behind it. I hope that she grow in her strength, so that when she enters her teenage and later her adult years she knows herself so well that she can remain strong in the fact that Christ is ALWAYS with her. I hope that her strength be an example for others and that she illuminate Christ in her 10 year old spirit. All the hopes for my daughter are also my prayers for her daily. I know she is a gift from God that must be treasured. I know he entrusted her care to me to nurture,love and teach. I do not take that lightly or for granted.
Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
Though she is only 10 I see so much in that heart that assures me When I say " Stay strong" and when I lift her in prayer, I am heard! ...
“Though she be but little, she is fierce!”~ William Shakespeare
At the beginning of the year she told me that she wanted to give up her allowance to sponsor a child in need and I was wowed then. Then the other day she did something that both made me smile and cry all in one. She had got with my husband and dad and told them that she wanted to send Me, her mom to an alopecia areata(a condition I have)conference . She told them "I have $11 what can we do?" She had seen me receive the mail regarding the conference and asked if I wanted to go. I said "It might be nice someday but it's kind of expensive." I told her just to throw it away. She didn't! Instead they came up with the plan to sell plates of food to raise the money. I was told it was to help my dad with medical expenses. When I got home my husband pulled me aside and said " I just want you to know, we have such a special little girl." I sensed the emotion in his voice and eyes and asked " I know we do but what makes you say that?" That's when my daughter came out and handed me the pamphlet for the conference along with the money that was raised. I was overwhelmed with emotion to say the least. What a heart my daughter has!
Last year she made the decision to give her heart to Christ and professed it so by baptism. That day our Pastor said " That girl is special! I felt something when she got in the water that I haven't before." I see now what it is. I see Christ in her! I can't wait to see what He has planned for her future and until then I will continue to Say "Stay Strong!"
I leave you with a quote by her....
" Stop hating the world and start loving what God created for you."~ Mia Pressler
Out of the mouths of babes.. Psalm 8:2
I hope that she stays strong in Christ. I hope that she stands strong in and on her Faith. I hope that when others may not be kind she stay strong and know good always overcomes evil. I hope that she knows her strength and the power behind it. I hope that she grow in her strength, so that when she enters her teenage and later her adult years she knows herself so well that she can remain strong in the fact that Christ is ALWAYS with her. I hope that her strength be an example for others and that she illuminate Christ in her 10 year old spirit. All the hopes for my daughter are also my prayers for her daily. I know she is a gift from God that must be treasured. I know he entrusted her care to me to nurture,love and teach. I do not take that lightly or for granted.
Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
Though she is only 10 I see so much in that heart that assures me When I say " Stay strong" and when I lift her in prayer, I am heard! ...
“Though she be but little, she is fierce!”~ William Shakespeare
At the beginning of the year she told me that she wanted to give up her allowance to sponsor a child in need and I was wowed then. Then the other day she did something that both made me smile and cry all in one. She had got with my husband and dad and told them that she wanted to send Me, her mom to an alopecia areata(a condition I have)conference . She told them "I have $11 what can we do?" She had seen me receive the mail regarding the conference and asked if I wanted to go. I said "It might be nice someday but it's kind of expensive." I told her just to throw it away. She didn't! Instead they came up with the plan to sell plates of food to raise the money. I was told it was to help my dad with medical expenses. When I got home my husband pulled me aside and said " I just want you to know, we have such a special little girl." I sensed the emotion in his voice and eyes and asked " I know we do but what makes you say that?" That's when my daughter came out and handed me the pamphlet for the conference along with the money that was raised. I was overwhelmed with emotion to say the least. What a heart my daughter has!
Last year she made the decision to give her heart to Christ and professed it so by baptism. That day our Pastor said " That girl is special! I felt something when she got in the water that I haven't before." I see now what it is. I see Christ in her! I can't wait to see what He has planned for her future and until then I will continue to Say "Stay Strong!"
I leave you with a quote by her....
" Stop hating the world and start loving what God created for you."~ Mia Pressler
Out of the mouths of babes.. Psalm 8:2
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
I see you
Autism.
What do you think of when you hear,see or read that word? Perhaps you know or love someone that comes to mind, perhaps it's just a word that describes someone you've seen or met or perhaps it's just a disorder you have heard of. For me it serves as a reminder of someone I love dearly. My sister in law Kati is not Autism although she is diagnosed as such. She may "have" it but it certainly does not have her. Since it's Autism awareness month I decided to dedicate this post to her and write her a letter....
Kati,
I want you to know I see you. I see your smile behind the frustration. I hear your laugh behind the tears and screams. I see your kindness behind your gestures. I see your love and sweet soul behind those eyes. You were created with purpose. You were created in His image. You were sent to your family to teach lessons far greater than anyone else could. You help us see the world in such a beautiful way. All you know is love and never met a stranger. What a perfect example of Christ's love than you.. You show us how to be selfless and how to love. I treasure your phone calls and messages. Remember no matter what others may say you are not defined by a diagnosis. You are defined by your creator. You are fearfully and wonderfully made! You are a child of God,a daughter,a sister,an aunt,a cousin,a friend. You are beautiful! Your family is so blessed with your presence and the fact that God chose us as your family! We see you! We hear you and above all We love you!
Psalm 139:14
What do you think of when you hear,see or read that word? Perhaps you know or love someone that comes to mind, perhaps it's just a word that describes someone you've seen or met or perhaps it's just a disorder you have heard of. For me it serves as a reminder of someone I love dearly. My sister in law Kati is not Autism although she is diagnosed as such. She may "have" it but it certainly does not have her. Since it's Autism awareness month I decided to dedicate this post to her and write her a letter....
Kati,
I want you to know I see you. I see your smile behind the frustration. I hear your laugh behind the tears and screams. I see your kindness behind your gestures. I see your love and sweet soul behind those eyes. You were created with purpose. You were created in His image. You were sent to your family to teach lessons far greater than anyone else could. You help us see the world in such a beautiful way. All you know is love and never met a stranger. What a perfect example of Christ's love than you.. You show us how to be selfless and how to love. I treasure your phone calls and messages. Remember no matter what others may say you are not defined by a diagnosis. You are defined by your creator. You are fearfully and wonderfully made! You are a child of God,a daughter,a sister,an aunt,a cousin,a friend. You are beautiful! Your family is so blessed with your presence and the fact that God chose us as your family! We see you! We hear you and above all We love you!
Psalm 139:14
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Unpack your baggage
First post to my blog and What to post about? I am never at a loss for thoughts! There are usually about a million swimming in my head! I am just going to begin with What is on my heart today...
My Pastor shared this thought with us today:
Marinate that thought for a minute... Profound isn't it? It got me thinking about myself and those around me. I asked myself, Do I let my memories overshadow my dreams? Am I living in past thoughts and not allowing God to show me His plans for my future? I think at times we are all caught up in that.I started to think about relationships we have with one another. How amazing that we are all so intricately designed individuals made to have relationships with other intricate souls. We all come with baggage so to speak. Some have bigger luggage than others but the amount we carry is not as important as who we allow to help us unpack. If you live in your past situations you are missing out on your present and future and really not living at all. Your creator has designed you with a purpose! That purpose is to live for Him today. That purpose is not to be stuck in what happened to you,mistakes you've made or what lies the enemy tells you.Let go,Let God! Do not sabotage relationships with others because you are stuck in the memories. You are holding yourself prisoner and allowing the enemy to hold power over you! Dream and dream big! Allow God to reveal His plan for you and allow Him to help you unpack! He has the room and definitely can lighten that load. Ephesians 6:10-17
Hands together.Head up.Heart open.
My Pastor shared this thought with us today:
"When your memories are bigger than your dreams your beginning to die."
Marinate that thought for a minute... Profound isn't it? It got me thinking about myself and those around me. I asked myself, Do I let my memories overshadow my dreams? Am I living in past thoughts and not allowing God to show me His plans for my future? I think at times we are all caught up in that.I started to think about relationships we have with one another. How amazing that we are all so intricately designed individuals made to have relationships with other intricate souls. We all come with baggage so to speak. Some have bigger luggage than others but the amount we carry is not as important as who we allow to help us unpack. If you live in your past situations you are missing out on your present and future and really not living at all. Your creator has designed you with a purpose! That purpose is to live for Him today. That purpose is not to be stuck in what happened to you,mistakes you've made or what lies the enemy tells you.Let go,Let God! Do not sabotage relationships with others because you are stuck in the memories. You are holding yourself prisoner and allowing the enemy to hold power over you! Dream and dream big! Allow God to reveal His plan for you and allow Him to help you unpack! He has the room and definitely can lighten that load. Ephesians 6:10-17
Hands together.Head up.Heart open.
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